So I was online on POF tonight and it timed me out, for those of you that don't know when you're 'timed out' it means you were automatically signed out due to inactivity, anyways so I was on the main page and they had different pictures of different girls with the links to their accounts, curious to see how I compare to some girls, I clicked on a few, and to be honest, it isn't just guys that do stupid stuff on the internet.
First of all, write something on your profile and don't have it be 'hey, I go to school I'm here because I'm shy, message me." NO, NO, NO. I don't care who you are, writing something so plain and boring will get you little to no messages. Why? because people read that and think 'this person is boring/lazy/not interested.' When you think about it, would you message someone who writes that? No, why? Because where do you go from there? This brings me to my next point.
Make your messages interesting. Don't just say 'hey how are you you seem nice' (I am sometimes guilty of this too.) And the easiest way to make a message interesting is by talking about or mentioning something they wrote in their profile. If they like Pink Floyd and you do to, comment on one of your favorite songs, or ask what they like. Seem interested and interesting.
Another note, no matter how long it's been since you've been on a date, do not come off too needy/desperate/strong. Men & Women do this. Do not message someone, have a conversation with them and within 10 mins of chatting ask "So would you like to hang out' unless the conversation is REALLY good chances are you'll scare them off. It sends a red flag in anyone's head. Women might think you're just interested in sleeping with them or you're needy, no one wants that. Men might think, you're desperate or needy. If you really like the conversation you're having with someone ask if they'd like to exchange numbers, that way you can keep talking to them on more of a personal level but you're not coming on too strong.
Don't go to someone place on the first date/meeting. A guy tells you he wants you to come over the first time you're meeting chances are he just wants to sleep with you. Besides, YOU'VE NEVER MET THIS GUY BEFORE HE COULD KILL YOU! So don't meet at his place the first time. If you don't want something that'll put so much pressure on you, meet for coffee, or lunch, you can meet the person, get to know them but it isn't so intense as a dinner date. If that person doesn't want to meet you anywhere other then their place then you should know they just want to get laid.
Another thing, don't do those stupid dating rules. Things like "can't text him after the date". Personally, if the date went well and you felt a connection I don't see anything wrong with saying something like "Had a great time tonight. Hope to do it again some time" It lets the other person know you enjoyed your time with them but it also isn't creepy or weird.
I recommend talking to someone on the phone before going out with them. It is so much different to have an actual conversation then it is reading what someone says. It'll really let you know if you really are interested in getting to know them or meet them. I had a situation where I was exchanging messages with a guy and I had asked to talk to him on the phone, he calls me, and I swear he was a woman. (Never found out for sure, point is I avoided a real awkward situation) Talking on the phone will also let you know how this person is going to be in person, if they're not talkative on the phone, aren't putting in anything in to the conversation, the chances are they'll be like that in person, so maybe meeting should either wait or not happen.
Another thing is, BE HONEST, men and women do this, but be honest with yourself and with others what you really look like and who you are. If you smoke, mention you smoke, I don't care if your excuse is you only smoke once a week, bullshit, put down that you smoke. If you're overweight, don't click 'average' why? because you're not, and yes people should love you for who you are inside, but people have to be attracted to you to some extent. Also if a person sees that & they don't really care what your body type is they'll see it as you lying or pretending to be someone you're not, so they'll doubt everything else you wrote down. I'm overweight, my profile says that I am, and I'm fine with that. I get messages from guys who find me attractive and don't care about that. Besides, why would you want to 'trick' someone, have them be interested, they meet you and are suddenly not interested. It's just best to be honest.
Now, pictures, I would post more then 2 photos to be honest. You don't need 10 but I think if you have 3 you'll be fine. With that being said, make your pictures DIFFERENT don't have 3 different photos with the same face, or myspace angels. Have one where you're smiling, full body, just mix it up.
Now, I am not a professional, I am not a match maker, I'm simply someone who's taken noticed, realized my mistakes, and wants to make internet dating a good experience for everyone.
No comments:
Post a Comment