So things with (lets call him Chris because I don't want to use his real name with out his consent) *Chris, didn't end the way most people would want. It was definitely one of my most mature endings to anything, so that's good. But he just wants to be friends 'for the time being' whatever that means.
I had let my head get to me about things, and I thought he was sending mixed signals, so I told him, I didn't get mad or get in a fight just sent him a text telling him I didn't like that he was sending mixed signals. He didn't react mad he was a little upset because he didn't think he was sending mixed signals and he apologized for it and told me that he's just been really busy with work, and the holidays etc.
Later that night I sent him a huge text telling him & explaining to him all the bullshit I have been through with most guys that I 'dated' and how it all affected me and how, especially with me ex, I have this wall up and am so apprehensive about guys and if they're being honest or not.
It sucks the way that works. You meet someone you like, then they treat you like shit, then if you meet someone who's worth the risk & who is being honest & truthful, you can't believe it.
To be honest I don't know how to take the whole thing. Chris & I haven't talked about what happened since it happened. Yet he didn't totally blow me off like "This just isn't gonna work" what he said was "I want to be friends for the time being, at least until I get to know you better." So...I don't know how to take it. Complete totally rejection? Stuck in the friendzone? It doesn't help that my head keeps thinking about it and I just keep analyzing the whole thing. I did tell him that I wasn't sure if I could be his friend, because the last thing I wanted was to keep getting to know him & have my feelings get stronger or increase and then I'm stuck in the friendzone. He didn't respond to that so, who knows what he's thinking.
I almost wish things ended in a immature way and we fought and I can say he's a jerk, because then I wouldn't feel as crummy as I do. I feel sad, and cheated, and hurt by it all. I feel sad because I saw potential with this one, we had such a natural chemistry, that it just flowed, and I liked that. When we were hanging out all I wanted to do was to kiss him, or hold his hand and what not, but I hadn't known him long enough so I didn't just want to show the world our affection or whatever.
Part of me feels like I shouldn't feel this way because I only knew him for 2 weeks, but the disappointment is still there and any form of rejection is never good. Then again, I don't even know if it's really 'over' it probably is and I'm just holding on to whatever hope I have.
Anyways, I'm taking a bit of a break from the internet dating. This time around *Chris was the only one that caught my eye. Every one else seemed, too desperate, too needy, or just an overall douche.
Hopefully, I'll get out of this funk, but I still want to talk to him and see him, and I'm just a little upset and mad at myself really.
It'd be so much easier if he was just another douche.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
First Date
Tonight I had a first day with a guy I met on POF. We have been exchanging messages/text for about three days, and had dinner tonight at Stone Eagle Tavern.
Let me start off with this, in certain situations you don't always get the opportunity to meet someone so soon. Sometimes it could take a week or more, just depends on how your schedule meshes. With that being said though, this guy works two jobs and goes to school part time. So you would think he wouldn't have anything open in his schedule, but he made time. This is something that I've learned, if a guy is genuinely interested in meeting you, no matter how busy he may be, HE WILL MAKE TIME. The same I guess could be said about women. So if someone is playing that 'I don't know when I have time' game, they're just playing a game.
If someone is doing that and you are interested in them, you should probably move on and find someone else, because this person can say they like you or like talking to you but there is something that's holding them back from meeting you.
Anyways, back my date.
He's 25, sarcastic, witty, outgoing, funny, and nice. I really enjoy talking to him and I enjoyed spending time with me.
I showed up a little bit late to the restaurant (I did let him know I was going to be late!) because of the snow the night before, and my car having shitty tires, I had to drive my dad's truck, of course his car is parked in front of the truck and I have to scrap the windshield, so I forgot about having to do all this. Don't show up late to a date/meeting etc. Especially because this person doesn't really know you they might judge you by that right off the bat. (I'm late to almost anything or everything I do, I have no idea why but I'm usually late.
When I got to the restaurant, I sent him a text knowing I just got there, and I walked up to the door where we said hello and what not. We got inside and, if you've ever been to this place the service isn't all that great, so the host was talking to a guy there and instead of saying 'Oh hello, I'll be with you in a minute' he continue to talk to the guy and then after us standing there for about 8 minutes he acknowledged us. The guy sat us down pretty soon after we got there, about 10 minutes.
Now here's a good thing I noticed, we kept talking when we got to our table that we didn't really go over our menus, so when the server came over asking us if we ready we asked her to give us a little bit more time. Now when it came to figuring out what to order, I had no idea. I've been to Eagle Tavern a few times before but there menu is really overwhelming and isn't organized very well. So it forces you to really read the menu to find something you'll like. I did ask the waitress for some help though, she mentioned a pulled pork sandwich that sounded good so I decided on that and she took our orders and left.
Now if you know me, you know that I am a big theater nerd, I did theater all threw high school, volunteered in the summers to local theater groups, and when graduation came I was going to be a big star. Now my date asked me what was something I enjoyed doing and I said 'Well, in high school I was known as 'that one girl from that one..' I didn't even get to finish before he jumped in and said "I was in the drama club too!"
At this point, I liked him even more. We talked about what we did our accomplishments etc. It's definitely something to bond over.
Now, I food comes right and my sandwich is a good size and it had this yellow melted cheese on top. I take a bite and am over whelmed with the strong taste of the cheese, the sandwich wasn't bad but that cheese was too much for me. Anyways, I take the bite and have my mouth covered in cheese (I forgot I was probably going to make a mess of myself with this sandwich.) He didn't seem concerned or bothered by the fact I ended up covered in BBQ sauce haha. He actually saw it as a positive, that I didn't care to enjoy my food or how I would look to him. He thought it was a 'ball-z' choice for dinner. His choice wasn't all that 'clean' either but definitely worse then mine.
After we were done eating we sat and talked for another 30 minutes and left. (He had a party to get to.) He walked me to my car, gave me a hug, apoligized for cutting the date short said we should do this again and said "I would kiss you, but my breathe smells like beer right now." and gave me a kiss on the cheek instead.
I was driving over to a friends and he sends me a text saying "Had a great time. Wish we could've spent more time!" It of course made me smile, it was nice to know he had a good time and that he enjoyed my company so much he wanted to spend more time with me (It's a good sign!).
Later last night he called and said something along the lines of "That party was a bust. If I would've known it was going to be lame I would've stayed to hang out with you more." and we talked for about 20mins, he said he only called to tell me goodnight.
Anyone who would rather call and talk to you, even to tell you goodnight, it's a good sign. So if you 'aren't a phone person' make the effort to actually talk to the person you're interested in. I, personally, like talking on the phone more the texting and it's easier to get to know someone.
This morning he also texted me asking me what time I was going to get off work, and when I said 10:30pm his reply was "Damn. Kinda wanted to see you ;)"
So this guy likes me or at least likes hanging out with me and wants to get to know me more.
I like this guy and am open to getting to know him more. I feel like we have a few things in common and we definitely mesh well with our sense of humors, we're similar in this way. He's also a gentlemen and I like that, you have no idea how rare it is to find a guy who's respectful and a gentlemen.
So we'll see how it goes with him, I know a second date should be coming up soon and hopefully that'll go well too.
Let me start off with this, in certain situations you don't always get the opportunity to meet someone so soon. Sometimes it could take a week or more, just depends on how your schedule meshes. With that being said though, this guy works two jobs and goes to school part time. So you would think he wouldn't have anything open in his schedule, but he made time. This is something that I've learned, if a guy is genuinely interested in meeting you, no matter how busy he may be, HE WILL MAKE TIME. The same I guess could be said about women. So if someone is playing that 'I don't know when I have time' game, they're just playing a game.
If someone is doing that and you are interested in them, you should probably move on and find someone else, because this person can say they like you or like talking to you but there is something that's holding them back from meeting you.
Anyways, back my date.
He's 25, sarcastic, witty, outgoing, funny, and nice. I really enjoy talking to him and I enjoyed spending time with me.
I showed up a little bit late to the restaurant (I did let him know I was going to be late!) because of the snow the night before, and my car having shitty tires, I had to drive my dad's truck, of course his car is parked in front of the truck and I have to scrap the windshield, so I forgot about having to do all this. Don't show up late to a date/meeting etc. Especially because this person doesn't really know you they might judge you by that right off the bat. (I'm late to almost anything or everything I do, I have no idea why but I'm usually late.
When I got to the restaurant, I sent him a text knowing I just got there, and I walked up to the door where we said hello and what not. We got inside and, if you've ever been to this place the service isn't all that great, so the host was talking to a guy there and instead of saying 'Oh hello, I'll be with you in a minute' he continue to talk to the guy and then after us standing there for about 8 minutes he acknowledged us. The guy sat us down pretty soon after we got there, about 10 minutes.
Now here's a good thing I noticed, we kept talking when we got to our table that we didn't really go over our menus, so when the server came over asking us if we ready we asked her to give us a little bit more time. Now when it came to figuring out what to order, I had no idea. I've been to Eagle Tavern a few times before but there menu is really overwhelming and isn't organized very well. So it forces you to really read the menu to find something you'll like. I did ask the waitress for some help though, she mentioned a pulled pork sandwich that sounded good so I decided on that and she took our orders and left.
Now if you know me, you know that I am a big theater nerd, I did theater all threw high school, volunteered in the summers to local theater groups, and when graduation came I was going to be a big star. Now my date asked me what was something I enjoyed doing and I said 'Well, in high school I was known as 'that one girl from that one..' I didn't even get to finish before he jumped in and said "I was in the drama club too!"
At this point, I liked him even more. We talked about what we did our accomplishments etc. It's definitely something to bond over.
Now, I food comes right and my sandwich is a good size and it had this yellow melted cheese on top. I take a bite and am over whelmed with the strong taste of the cheese, the sandwich wasn't bad but that cheese was too much for me. Anyways, I take the bite and have my mouth covered in cheese (I forgot I was probably going to make a mess of myself with this sandwich.) He didn't seem concerned or bothered by the fact I ended up covered in BBQ sauce haha. He actually saw it as a positive, that I didn't care to enjoy my food or how I would look to him. He thought it was a 'ball-z' choice for dinner. His choice wasn't all that 'clean' either but definitely worse then mine.
After we were done eating we sat and talked for another 30 minutes and left. (He had a party to get to.) He walked me to my car, gave me a hug, apoligized for cutting the date short said we should do this again and said "I would kiss you, but my breathe smells like beer right now." and gave me a kiss on the cheek instead.
I was driving over to a friends and he sends me a text saying "Had a great time. Wish we could've spent more time!" It of course made me smile, it was nice to know he had a good time and that he enjoyed my company so much he wanted to spend more time with me (It's a good sign!).
Later last night he called and said something along the lines of "That party was a bust. If I would've known it was going to be lame I would've stayed to hang out with you more." and we talked for about 20mins, he said he only called to tell me goodnight.
Anyone who would rather call and talk to you, even to tell you goodnight, it's a good sign. So if you 'aren't a phone person' make the effort to actually talk to the person you're interested in. I, personally, like talking on the phone more the texting and it's easier to get to know someone.
This morning he also texted me asking me what time I was going to get off work, and when I said 10:30pm his reply was "Damn. Kinda wanted to see you ;)"
So this guy likes me or at least likes hanging out with me and wants to get to know me more.
I like this guy and am open to getting to know him more. I feel like we have a few things in common and we definitely mesh well with our sense of humors, we're similar in this way. He's also a gentlemen and I like that, you have no idea how rare it is to find a guy who's respectful and a gentlemen.
So we'll see how it goes with him, I know a second date should be coming up soon and hopefully that'll go well too.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Example of what not to do
This is taken from someone's actual profile. I added nothing to this and I hope if I break it down people will learn what not to do first hand.
OK WHERE DO i BEGiN....UMM MY DAD PAST AWAY VERY RECENT ON OCT 10 OF 2009 SO THiNGS HAVE BEEN REALLY HARD ON ME . I feel for her, but this may be a little too personal
....i AM AND WiLL ALWAYS BE A DADDYS GiRL....iM VERY iNTELLiGENT WHEN i WANNA B AND ONE DAY i WiLL BE A DOCTOR. When you want to be? You should be smart. Period, and anyone reading this would take it she isn't with the way she's typed this out.
....i STAND HIGH CUZ iM VERY CONFiDENT Nothing wrong with being confident and standing up for what you believe in, but if you have to 'announce' it then it may seem as though you aren't as confident as you appear....i GET WAT i WANT WHEN i WANT BECUZ i KNO HOW TO DO SO Would anyone else assume she's spoiled by this statement?.....i BELiEVE iN MYSELF.....i DONT GiVE A FUK ABOUT WAT HE OR SHE THiNKS OR SAYS......FUK WAT U HEARD && RECOGNiZE WAT U SEE..... .What is this Compton?
.iM VERY HONEST AND YES SUMTiMES MY TRUTH WiLL HURT...i DONT HOLD BACK ON ANYTHiN. What this really means: "I'm a bitch"
..iM THE OLDEST WiTH A YOUNGER SiS AND A BABY BRO WHOM i LOVE DEARLY......MY DAD HAS TAUGHT ME TO BE ALOT iN LiFE AND ii THiNK ABT AND MiSS HiM MORE THAN N E THiNG!....MY MOM KOO AS FUK... *Cool & maybe you should keep the F- word out of it
.UMM i LiKE TO CHiLL AND HAVE A FUN ASS TiME!! YOU NEVER WNNA PiSS ME OFF OR i WiLL AND CAN B DA BiGEST **** EVER.....BUT OTHER THEN THAT iM REAL KOO...JUSs HiT ME UPP Aii HOLLA* No comment, that's how bad it is haha.
First of all, DO NOT TYPE LIKE THIS, if you're like me, I use caps as a way to show emotion, when I read someone's profile and they wrote in all caps, in my head they're screaming at me. That's not good. Also the mix and match of lower case and whatever else is wrong with this makes her come across as immature and contrary to what she said, she does not seem intelligent. Sometimes or other wise.
The other thing is, imagine the kind of guy she's attracting? Then again, maybe she likes that kind of guy who knows.
Again, I can't stop you from doing what you want, but if you're really interested in finding or dating someone offline I just wanna help you out some. This girl can do what she wants, and if she's like that in real life, props to her for being realll honest.
Again, I can't stop you from doing what you want, but if you're really interested in finding or dating someone offline I just wanna help you out some. This girl can do what she wants, and if she's like that in real life, props to her for being realll honest.
What not to do
So I was online on POF tonight and it timed me out, for those of you that don't know when you're 'timed out' it means you were automatically signed out due to inactivity, anyways so I was on the main page and they had different pictures of different girls with the links to their accounts, curious to see how I compare to some girls, I clicked on a few, and to be honest, it isn't just guys that do stupid stuff on the internet.
First of all, write something on your profile and don't have it be 'hey, I go to school I'm here because I'm shy, message me." NO, NO, NO. I don't care who you are, writing something so plain and boring will get you little to no messages. Why? because people read that and think 'this person is boring/lazy/not interested.' When you think about it, would you message someone who writes that? No, why? Because where do you go from there? This brings me to my next point.
Make your messages interesting. Don't just say 'hey how are you you seem nice' (I am sometimes guilty of this too.) And the easiest way to make a message interesting is by talking about or mentioning something they wrote in their profile. If they like Pink Floyd and you do to, comment on one of your favorite songs, or ask what they like. Seem interested and interesting.
Another note, no matter how long it's been since you've been on a date, do not come off too needy/desperate/strong. Men & Women do this. Do not message someone, have a conversation with them and within 10 mins of chatting ask "So would you like to hang out' unless the conversation is REALLY good chances are you'll scare them off. It sends a red flag in anyone's head. Women might think you're just interested in sleeping with them or you're needy, no one wants that. Men might think, you're desperate or needy. If you really like the conversation you're having with someone ask if they'd like to exchange numbers, that way you can keep talking to them on more of a personal level but you're not coming on too strong.
Don't go to someone place on the first date/meeting. A guy tells you he wants you to come over the first time you're meeting chances are he just wants to sleep with you. Besides, YOU'VE NEVER MET THIS GUY BEFORE HE COULD KILL YOU! So don't meet at his place the first time. If you don't want something that'll put so much pressure on you, meet for coffee, or lunch, you can meet the person, get to know them but it isn't so intense as a dinner date. If that person doesn't want to meet you anywhere other then their place then you should know they just want to get laid.
Another thing, don't do those stupid dating rules. Things like "can't text him after the date". Personally, if the date went well and you felt a connection I don't see anything wrong with saying something like "Had a great time tonight. Hope to do it again some time" It lets the other person know you enjoyed your time with them but it also isn't creepy or weird.
I recommend talking to someone on the phone before going out with them. It is so much different to have an actual conversation then it is reading what someone says. It'll really let you know if you really are interested in getting to know them or meet them. I had a situation where I was exchanging messages with a guy and I had asked to talk to him on the phone, he calls me, and I swear he was a woman. (Never found out for sure, point is I avoided a real awkward situation) Talking on the phone will also let you know how this person is going to be in person, if they're not talkative on the phone, aren't putting in anything in to the conversation, the chances are they'll be like that in person, so maybe meeting should either wait or not happen.
Another thing is, BE HONEST, men and women do this, but be honest with yourself and with others what you really look like and who you are. If you smoke, mention you smoke, I don't care if your excuse is you only smoke once a week, bullshit, put down that you smoke. If you're overweight, don't click 'average' why? because you're not, and yes people should love you for who you are inside, but people have to be attracted to you to some extent. Also if a person sees that & they don't really care what your body type is they'll see it as you lying or pretending to be someone you're not, so they'll doubt everything else you wrote down. I'm overweight, my profile says that I am, and I'm fine with that. I get messages from guys who find me attractive and don't care about that. Besides, why would you want to 'trick' someone, have them be interested, they meet you and are suddenly not interested. It's just best to be honest.
Now, pictures, I would post more then 2 photos to be honest. You don't need 10 but I think if you have 3 you'll be fine. With that being said, make your pictures DIFFERENT don't have 3 different photos with the same face, or myspace angels. Have one where you're smiling, full body, just mix it up.
Now, I am not a professional, I am not a match maker, I'm simply someone who's taken noticed, realized my mistakes, and wants to make internet dating a good experience for everyone.
First of all, write something on your profile and don't have it be 'hey, I go to school I'm here because I'm shy, message me." NO, NO, NO. I don't care who you are, writing something so plain and boring will get you little to no messages. Why? because people read that and think 'this person is boring/lazy/not interested.' When you think about it, would you message someone who writes that? No, why? Because where do you go from there? This brings me to my next point.
Make your messages interesting. Don't just say 'hey how are you you seem nice' (I am sometimes guilty of this too.) And the easiest way to make a message interesting is by talking about or mentioning something they wrote in their profile. If they like Pink Floyd and you do to, comment on one of your favorite songs, or ask what they like. Seem interested and interesting.
Another note, no matter how long it's been since you've been on a date, do not come off too needy/desperate/strong. Men & Women do this. Do not message someone, have a conversation with them and within 10 mins of chatting ask "So would you like to hang out' unless the conversation is REALLY good chances are you'll scare them off. It sends a red flag in anyone's head. Women might think you're just interested in sleeping with them or you're needy, no one wants that. Men might think, you're desperate or needy. If you really like the conversation you're having with someone ask if they'd like to exchange numbers, that way you can keep talking to them on more of a personal level but you're not coming on too strong.
Don't go to someone place on the first date/meeting. A guy tells you he wants you to come over the first time you're meeting chances are he just wants to sleep with you. Besides, YOU'VE NEVER MET THIS GUY BEFORE HE COULD KILL YOU! So don't meet at his place the first time. If you don't want something that'll put so much pressure on you, meet for coffee, or lunch, you can meet the person, get to know them but it isn't so intense as a dinner date. If that person doesn't want to meet you anywhere other then their place then you should know they just want to get laid.
Another thing, don't do those stupid dating rules. Things like "can't text him after the date". Personally, if the date went well and you felt a connection I don't see anything wrong with saying something like "Had a great time tonight. Hope to do it again some time" It lets the other person know you enjoyed your time with them but it also isn't creepy or weird.
I recommend talking to someone on the phone before going out with them. It is so much different to have an actual conversation then it is reading what someone says. It'll really let you know if you really are interested in getting to know them or meet them. I had a situation where I was exchanging messages with a guy and I had asked to talk to him on the phone, he calls me, and I swear he was a woman. (Never found out for sure, point is I avoided a real awkward situation) Talking on the phone will also let you know how this person is going to be in person, if they're not talkative on the phone, aren't putting in anything in to the conversation, the chances are they'll be like that in person, so maybe meeting should either wait or not happen.
Another thing is, BE HONEST, men and women do this, but be honest with yourself and with others what you really look like and who you are. If you smoke, mention you smoke, I don't care if your excuse is you only smoke once a week, bullshit, put down that you smoke. If you're overweight, don't click 'average' why? because you're not, and yes people should love you for who you are inside, but people have to be attracted to you to some extent. Also if a person sees that & they don't really care what your body type is they'll see it as you lying or pretending to be someone you're not, so they'll doubt everything else you wrote down. I'm overweight, my profile says that I am, and I'm fine with that. I get messages from guys who find me attractive and don't care about that. Besides, why would you want to 'trick' someone, have them be interested, they meet you and are suddenly not interested. It's just best to be honest.
Now, pictures, I would post more then 2 photos to be honest. You don't need 10 but I think if you have 3 you'll be fine. With that being said, make your pictures DIFFERENT don't have 3 different photos with the same face, or myspace angels. Have one where you're smiling, full body, just mix it up.
Now, I am not a professional, I am not a match maker, I'm simply someone who's taken noticed, realized my mistakes, and wants to make internet dating a good experience for everyone.
Introduction
My name is Jasmine, I'm 20 years, I work part time at a crummy job, and like everyone else am on the search for my soul mate. But for the mean time just a connection.
I started internet dating when I was 18, out of high school, and about to start college. I never really dated in high school. I had one boyfriend when I was 16, he was my first kiss, my best friend, but it turned out we both were better off as friends, and we still are.
Anyways, I opted for the internet dating because, frankly, I didn't know what else to do, any guy friends I had weren't my type or I wasn't there type (by the way, youtube 'why men & women can't be friends'). So I was left clueless on what to do, I'm underage, so bars are out of the question. So I turned to the wonderful world of the web.
I started off with one site. I simply googled 'free dating sites' (who's 18 and has a credit card and enough money for a three month membership to eharmony for $50 NOT ME!). Anyways most of the sites that popped up were 'free to search' now what this means is that you can sign up and look at 'matches' but in order to message them or read any messages you have to 'upgrade' so the one site I saw that seemed interesting and was totally free was Okcupid.
The thing with okcupid is that the way it works is that you can search and message whoever but they do have a 'match' system and what you do is you answer questions that are created by the people of Okc and other users. You also have the option to mark down what answer you want your 'matches' to choose, and also how important that answer is to you. So say the question was 'what kind of movies do you like' and you answer with 'romantic comedy' and you want your match to answer the same so you pick that then you decide how important that specific answer is to you. (Sounds complicated and I may have explained it weird but check out the site if you are interested.)
Here's an example of what the questions are:
I did meet a few guys from there, some were nicer then others, but a lot of them were just interested in one thing. That's right, sex. Unfortunately, with the internet being easier to meet people it's also easier to meet people to sleep with. You really have to learn how to tell between those genuine guys that are interested in getting to know you and those guys that wanna get to know your bed sheets.
I'm not going to sugar coat anything, I have fallen for the lines and thought 'maybe if we just get it over with things will be okay'. It isn't, because those guys got what they wanted they all stopped talking to me afterwards, and if they did talk to me it was only to see if they could get some again. I was smart though, I have and will continue to use protect, get tested regularly, and be open about my sex life to my OBGYN.
But I'll talk about safe sex later. Anyways, I signed up for another site a couple months after Okc, hoping to meet more good guys, and I did meet some, but again most of the guys just wanted one thing. I'm sure that maybe those guys were also interested in dating or whatever, but from me they just wanted sex.
I know what you're thinking, "Why keep doing the internet dating?" I'll tell you why, because the few times I did meet good guys, it was good. It may have not worked out but they were appropriate, polite, and prove that not all guys are the same. Besides, I've already learned the signs of knowing when a guy just wants sex, so all I can do is ignore them and tell them I'm not interested. Simple as that.
Anyways, I've always been one who's open and honest with my friends about how I met this guy, or what we did, and about my sex life. I don't think it's wrong or shameful that I'm open. If it helps them learn and be aware then that's all I want. That's what I'm hoping this blog turns in to, a sort of 'how to' or open for questions from people. If anything it'll just make people learn or laugh lol.
Hope you all get something out of this.
I started internet dating when I was 18, out of high school, and about to start college. I never really dated in high school. I had one boyfriend when I was 16, he was my first kiss, my best friend, but it turned out we both were better off as friends, and we still are.
Anyways, I opted for the internet dating because, frankly, I didn't know what else to do, any guy friends I had weren't my type or I wasn't there type (by the way, youtube 'why men & women can't be friends'). So I was left clueless on what to do, I'm underage, so bars are out of the question. So I turned to the wonderful world of the web.
I started off with one site. I simply googled 'free dating sites' (who's 18 and has a credit card and enough money for a three month membership to eharmony for $50 NOT ME!). Anyways most of the sites that popped up were 'free to search' now what this means is that you can sign up and look at 'matches' but in order to message them or read any messages you have to 'upgrade' so the one site I saw that seemed interesting and was totally free was Okcupid.
The thing with okcupid is that the way it works is that you can search and message whoever but they do have a 'match' system and what you do is you answer questions that are created by the people of Okc and other users. You also have the option to mark down what answer you want your 'matches' to choose, and also how important that answer is to you. So say the question was 'what kind of movies do you like' and you answer with 'romantic comedy' and you want your match to answer the same so you pick that then you decide how important that specific answer is to you. (Sounds complicated and I may have explained it weird but check out the site if you are interested.)
Here's an example of what the questions are:
I did meet a few guys from there, some were nicer then others, but a lot of them were just interested in one thing. That's right, sex. Unfortunately, with the internet being easier to meet people it's also easier to meet people to sleep with. You really have to learn how to tell between those genuine guys that are interested in getting to know you and those guys that wanna get to know your bed sheets.
I'm not going to sugar coat anything, I have fallen for the lines and thought 'maybe if we just get it over with things will be okay'. It isn't, because those guys got what they wanted they all stopped talking to me afterwards, and if they did talk to me it was only to see if they could get some again. I was smart though, I have and will continue to use protect, get tested regularly, and be open about my sex life to my OBGYN.
But I'll talk about safe sex later. Anyways, I signed up for another site a couple months after Okc, hoping to meet more good guys, and I did meet some, but again most of the guys just wanted one thing. I'm sure that maybe those guys were also interested in dating or whatever, but from me they just wanted sex.
I know what you're thinking, "Why keep doing the internet dating?" I'll tell you why, because the few times I did meet good guys, it was good. It may have not worked out but they were appropriate, polite, and prove that not all guys are the same. Besides, I've already learned the signs of knowing when a guy just wants sex, so all I can do is ignore them and tell them I'm not interested. Simple as that.
Anyways, I've always been one who's open and honest with my friends about how I met this guy, or what we did, and about my sex life. I don't think it's wrong or shameful that I'm open. If it helps them learn and be aware then that's all I want. That's what I'm hoping this blog turns in to, a sort of 'how to' or open for questions from people. If anything it'll just make people learn or laugh lol.
Hope you all get something out of this.
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